Hi

Should the horse be called My Face. Anyway I have not got a problem with the humour but I do not feel like explaining to my 11 year old granddaughter who joins me on the site

Ray

I am offended by these on this forum THIS IS NOT THE PLACE!! KEEP THEM OFF

I can see the argument from both sides, there are allot of adults here, and the publication itself states it's not a toy, so you can see they are aiming at the adult crowd, so I do see your point in posting adult orientated jokes, but (it's a big BUT) allot of us also have kids, some of us are involving our kids, wives or other family members like Shep the dog (Every ship needs a dog)so it would be inappropriate to display such 18+ content so I hope you can see the concerns and refrain from posting such content in future, I dont mean to dictate as that's not my position, but feel it best for all involved.

anyway, these are just my opinions

Best Wishes
David

I will keep them clean

2 Blondes walking in the Sahara desert - the one turns to the other and says " do you know that the weather forecast said it was going to be 45C/120F in the shade today?"
The other replies " Whew its just as well there aren't any trees around then".......

they're gone. got them from telly as well. yes post water shed. anywho there gone for fear of upsetting little ones. my kids have absolute no interest with this site. other than the actual build. i accept i may be on my own so i have removed them for their safty and protect innocence. will you all forgive me?

Heck mate, we all make mistakes, Just look at Jacks Pearl, he had to go get a replacement (Pearl II) of course we forgive you lol

PS Sorry Jack, couldn't resist

cheerz earz

1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf . He said,
'No, the steaks are too high.'

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7 A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week.and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

12. 'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. '
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'

14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17.. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..'

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho -Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat '

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore'

23.. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Class. Clean jokes are the best. I got mine from Bob Monkhouse.

I love the jokes mate, now all I have to do is remember them lol