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Christmas jokes!!! Options
jase
#1 Posted : 11 December 2010 20:16:23

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Because its the festive season (and partly because I am loosing the will to live wile doing the rigging detail packs) i thought it would be good if we all had a bit of a laff.... so hear is a place to post your Christmas jokes

SO I WILL GO FIRST....


WHY DO ALL THE OTHER RAINDEER HAVE BROWN NOSES?

BEACAUSE THEY CAN NOT STOP AS FAST AS RUDOLF!LOL LOL Flapper LOL Laugh

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
-Mark Twain
benny
#2 Posted : 11 December 2010 20:53:53

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1..Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!" 3..Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.4..What is the most popular wine at Christmas?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!


On the Twelve Days of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me . . .

December 14, 2003


Dearest paul

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
sherma

December 15, 2003

Dearest paul

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your sherma

December 16, 2003

Dearest paul

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
sherma

December 17, 2003

Dear paul

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
sherma

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling paul

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
sherma

December 19, 2003

Dear paul

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
sherma

December 20, 2003

paul

What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
sherma

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

sherma

December 22, 2003

Hey loser,

What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
sherma

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
sherma

December 11,2010

The Law Offices of
chichester
west sussex
england

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one sherma bentley. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

sherma and paul (benny) have been happily married for 2 years now merry christmas to all on this forum




cheers benny
Tomick
#3 Posted : 11 December 2010 22:03:57

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Christmas with the Sproutifarts and attack of the Sprouts, enjoy!

http://www.eyegas.com/sproutifarts/

http://www.eyegas.com/attackofthesprouts/
philjaps1
#4 Posted : 11 December 2010 22:15:30

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Hey did you hear the story about how the fairy got to be on top of the christmas tree -

well........

It was one year when it was all going wrong for father chistmas, mrs christmas had left him, the elfs had gone on strike and all the raindeers were sick. So father christmas was sat alone in his office feeling very sad when the fairy came in saying father christmas, father christmas where do you want me to put this christmas tree.........

yea I know its old but it stil makes me laugh!!!

phil
jase
#5 Posted : 11 December 2010 23:12:17

Rank: Super-Elite

Publisher Medal: Featured Build of the MonthActive Service Medal: 500 post active service MedalPurple Medal: Super active service medal for 1000 postsTurquoise Medal: Turquoise Medal for model making know-how contributionOutstanding Build: An award for an outstanding buildBuild-Diary Medal: Build-Diary Medal of HonourRed Medal: Red Medal
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[quote=Tomick]Christmas with the Sproutifarts and attack of the Sprouts, enjoy!

http://www.eyegas.com/sproutifarts/

http://www.eyegas.com/attackofthesprouts/[/quote]


Mr T that's disgusting!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
-Mark Twain
Malcolm
#6 Posted : 12 December 2010 16:24:44

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But FunLOL LOL LOL LOL
Only got room for one build,
but might try and sneek in a small one later
Have snuck in the Endevour
Pilgrim
#7 Posted : 14 December 2010 12:33:53

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Location: Glorious Devon.
The Rudolph Song

Once upon a time there was a king in Lapland called Rudolph. He had bright ginger hair so his people called him Rudolph the Red.

Now Rudolph the Red was bad-tempered and argued a lot. He gave his poor wife, Gertrude the Green, a terrible time. No matter what she said he had to argue.

One winter's day Gertrude the Green looked out of the palace window and said, 'Oh dear, it's snowing again. You'll have to clear the footpath before mother comes to tea.'

'Humph!' Rudolph the Red grunted. He didn't fancy shifting snow and he didn't want Gertrude the Green's mother coming to tea.

'That's not snow. It's rain!' he argued.
'But it's white and fluffy and drifting,' Gertrude the Green tried to tell him.
Rudolph the Red hid behind his newspaper and snapped, 'It's rain!'
Gertrude the Green became quite angry. 'Gertrude the Green knows snow, darling!'
'Yes,' retorted her husband. 'And Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!'
'What a great title for a song!' Gertrude the Green exclaimed.
haggisKiller
#8 Posted : 14 December 2010 16:24:01

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Reason why you should be good

Mike Turpin
#9 Posted : 20 December 2010 00:11:33

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Requires no further comment other than a Merry Christmas to model boat builders everywhere, six days and counting to unpacking my surprise Caldercraft Victory!!

Mike T BigGrin
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