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 Rank: Super-Elite        Groups: Official Builds, Administrators, Moderator, Global Forum Support, Registered Joined: 04/06/2011 Posts: 4,522 Points: 13,726 Location: ipswich
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I have a little Sat Nav it sits there in my car
A Sat Nav is a drivers friend It tells you where you are.
I’ve had this little Sat Nav, all my adult life
It’s better than a normal one, my Sat Nav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions especially how I drive
“It’s 60 miles an hour,” it says, “You’re doing 65”.
It tells me when to stop and start and when to use the brake
and tells me when it’s never ever safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front and all those to the rear
and taking this into account it specifies my gear.
I’m sure no other driver has so helpful a device
for when we leave and lock the car it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey‘s pretty fraught
so why don’t I exchange it and get a quieter sort.
Ah well you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things and keeps me warm in bed.
But despite all these advantages and my tendency to scoff
I do wish that once in a while I could turn the damn thing off.
(Not mine - I can't take credit)
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 Rank: Pro Groups: Registered
Joined: 25/02/2017 Posts: 339 Points: 1,016 Location: surrey
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Made my wife laugh. Andy.
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Rank: Superelite  Groups: Registered
Joined: 10/05/2010 Posts: 2,608 Points: 7,519 Location: Lincolnshire
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Rank: Pro Groups: Joined: 24/08/2009 Posts: 48,827 Points: -13,348
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Very good. And how true. Lol
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Very good, sounds like we’ve all got one  Mark 
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 I think I have the same model it did make me laugh  Martyn Building ?
Completed. Soliei Royal . Sovereign of the Seas . Virginia . Scotland . San Felipe . Corel vasa , Santisima Trinadad X section , Vasa
Next Build ?
When sailors have good wine, They think themselves in heaven for the time. John Baltharpe
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Rank: Super-Elite   Groups: Registered
Joined: 08/03/2014 Posts: 2,972 Points: 8,508 Location: united kingdom
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She must have been taught by my wife, mine actually warns me about trees and lamp posts (although I've yet to see one jump into the road) she still informs me to watch that tree or lamp post, she must know a dodgy looking tree, one that's likely to jump out, I just thank God she's in the car with me to warn me, I'm always scared driving past trees and lamp post when she's not with me. Ken's the name modeling's the game.
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Rank: Administration  Groups: Registered, Forum Support Team, Administrators, Global Forum Support Team, Moderator, Official Builds Joined: 09/11/2012 Posts: 8,300 Points: 23,988 Location: East midlands
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 Simple solution. Buy a real Satnav and explain to the version above that you can`t hear the directions. Then as you hear that whistling noise remember to duck before the slap around the head arrives.  Regards delboy271155 (Derek) COME BACK GUY FAWKES "YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU"
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 Rank: Vice-Master  Groups: Registered
Joined: 09/12/2013 Posts: 577 Points: 1,748 Location: smethwick england
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I think your all very brave I presume your other halves don't read your posts Man he took his time in the sun Had a dream to understand A single grain of sand He gave birth to poetry But one day will cease to be Greet the last light of the library...We were here!
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Rank: Superelite Groups: Registered
Joined: 10/05/2010 Posts: 2,608 Points: 7,519 Location: Lincolnshire
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I sent it to mine. She agreed that it does actually describe her to a tee
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